“You may not be the perfect mom, but you are perfect for your child.”

I love it here! I absolutely love being a mother. Last week we celebrated Mother’s Day and as always it was unforgettable. Everyday my family makes me feel loved, honored, and appreciated but on Mother’s Day I felt it even more.

This year I kicked off my Mother's Day weekend by listening to the sweetest conversation between my fiancé and my mother-in-law about the joys and sacrifices of motherhood. (You can listen to the podcast episode here)

I enjoyed it so much that I decided to reflect on my motherhood journey as well. The four questions I asked myself were:

Let's get into them!

1. How do you balance motherhood and your individuality?

When I first had my daughter Aliyah, I didn’t even think it was possible to balance motherhood and my individuality. I got so used to watching other women lose themselves in motherhood that I let the same thing happen to me.

I neglected myself and my needs because it was easier. I felt guilty for trying to reach my goals, so I just stopped.

2017 was my breaking point.

I lost it. I lost myself.

They say, “Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right,” and that’s exactly what happened.

It took me six years to finally realize that to become the best mother I must become the best individual first.

Here are a few ways I balance motherhood and my individuality:

Be fully present: I strive to give Aliyah my undivided attention because she deserves it. I can't give her all my time so when I do spend time with her, I want her to know that she is a priority.
Ask for help: I can't do everything. I just can’t. It’s unhealthy and it’s unrealistic. I am grateful to have a fiancé who I could depend on. He is a huge reason why I'm able to balance motherhood and my individuality.
Set a routine: I schedule time for work and time to spend with Aliyah and I stick to it. She loves that we have "science project days" "game nights" etc. and I love that I have “writing days” “self-care days” etc.
Enjoy some alone time: Alone time is a necessity. Sometimes I need a break from everything and everyone. I typically spend some time alone each day either in the morning or at night. Also, each month I schedule a self-care activity for myself.
Fill up my own cup first: I learned the hard way, l just can't pour from an empty cup. I must take care of myself first before I try to take care of anyone else.

For all the mamas out there, I just want to let you know that YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!

If you struggle with balancing motherhood and your individuality, I recommend that you read this blog post: 3 Tips for Fitting Self Care into Your Schedule.

2. What has motherhood taught you?

Motherhood has taught me that I am stronger than I ever imagined. Three months after Aliyah was born, my best friend was murdered. Talk about bittersweet. At that moment, I had no idea how I was going to raise a child. Motherhood taught me that I can overcome any obstacle though.

Motherhood taught me that my potential is limitless. I had no idea how to be a mother, but I figured it out. Motherhood taught me that I can do all things.

Motherhood taught me that I am enough. It taught me that I am a work in progress and that’s okay. For years I tried to be the “perfect mom”, but perfect moms don’t exist. My daughter genuinely loves me and that’s all that matters.

3. What’s the most rewarding part of motherhood?

There are multiple rewards of motherhood. It’s hard to just choose one lol. (If you stick around long enough, you’ll realize how indecisive I am.) But I would say the most rewarding part of motherhood is watching your children grow. From first steps to first words to reading books all by themselves, the journey is beautiful. I’m so honored to be apart of who Aliyah is becoming. I love being able to sit back and say I did that! It makes me so proud of myself.

I’ve always believed that my purpose of life is to positively impact as many young girls and women as possible. All I’ve ever wanted to do was inspire at least one young girl/woman in this world; then boom I became a girl mom. I get the opportunity to inspire a young girl EVERYDAY! If that’s not blessed, I don’t know what to call it!

Another rewarding part of motherhood is randomly hearing the words, “You’re the best mommy.” I take pride in being a mother and raising Aliyah to the best of my ability, so her acknowledgements mean a lot to me. Those moments are priceless.

4. What is one piece of advice you’d give a fellow mother?

One piece of advice I would give a fellow mother is to remember to live your dreams.

We are more than mothers.

Our lives don’t end when motherhood begins.

Every aspiration you had before motherhood is still attainable. Please go after them!!!

I would love to hear your response to one of these questions above! Feel free to leave a comment or email me at hello@empowerherstory.com