Unbound by Tarana Burke-Book Review
Have you heard of Tarana Burke? Tarana Burke is the founder of the ‘me too’ movement which helps to improve awareness about sexual violence and helps to show survivors of sexual abuse that they are not alone. Tarana is also the author of the new memoir, “Unbound”, which The Lit Queens Book Club and I wrapped up this week.
Book Synopsis:
Tarana didn’t always have the courage to say "me too." As a child, she reeled from her sexual assault, believing she was responsible. Unable to confess what she thought of as her own sins for fear of shattering her family, her soul split in two. One side was the bright, intellectually curious third generation Bronxite steeped in Black literature and power, and the other was the bad, shame ridden girl who thought of herself as a vile rule breaker, not as a victim. She tucked one away, hidden behind a wall of pain and anger, which seemed to work...until it didn’t.
Tarana fought to reunite her fractured self, through organizing, pursuing justice, and finding community. In her debut memoir she shares her extensive work supporting and empowering Black and brown girls, and the devastating realization that to truly help these girls she needed to help that scared, ashamed child still in her soul. She needed to stop running and confront what had happened to her, for Heaven and Diamond and the countless other young Black women for whom she cared. They gave her the courage to embrace her power. A power which in turn she shared with the entire world. Through these young Black and brown women, Tarana found that we can only offer empathy to others if we first offer it to ourselves.
Unbound is the story of an inimitable woman’s inner strength and perseverance, all in pursuit of bringing healing to her community and the world around her, but it is also a story of possibility, of empathy, of power, and of the leader we all have inside ourselves. In sharing her path toward healing and saying "me too," Tarana reaches out a hand to help us all on our own journeys.
My Thoughts:
Reading this book gave me the chills. Although I am not a survivor of sexual abuse, hearing Tarana’s story scared me. There are some horrible people in this world, and I pray that my daughter never has to mouth the words ‘me too’.
I am glad that I read this book though because it raised awareness and gave me a new perspective on parenting. One part of the story that stuck out the most to me was when Tarana said,
“The older women in my life taught me plenty about protecting myself and my private parts. Never let anyone touch your private parts, they’d say. But I wasn’t told why I had to protect my private parts, just that it was imperative that I did. Because of this, when I thought of my experience, I didn’t hold my abusers accountable. I held myself to blame. In my mind, they didn’t abuse me. I broke the rules. I was the one who did something wrong.”
Wow... that left me speechless because I was told those exact words and I’ve told my daughter those words too. I’ve also explained to her that no one is entitled to touch ANY part of her body. It’s so important to teach our children how to advocate for themselves and speak out about anything that makes them uncomfortable. My fiancé and I also talk to our daughter about creating boundaries, demanding respect from others and the importance of self-defense because ‘me too’ doesn’t start as an adult. Tarana was sexually abused at seven years old. As harmless as a child hugging another child may seem, it can lead to sexual abuse if there is no consent. This book was a reminder that there is still work to do and there are still conversations that need to be had.
I enjoyed this book very much and I recommend that you read it as well. My key takeaway from Unbound was that there is power in sharing your testimony. You never know who needs to hear it. We are all fighting silent battles that no one knows about. Sharing your story could change someone’s life. As a teenager I felt so alone. All I wanted to hear was that someone shared the same experiences with me but there was no one to be found. I created Empower Her Story because I never want another young girl or woman to feel like I did. I created this space to remind women that they don’t have to face challenges alone. We are all in this together. I will continue to share my thoughts and experiences on the blog, and I hope that you will join me. If you’re interested in sharing your story of resilience, passion, perseverance, or purpose, shoot me an email at hello@empowerherstory.com
OUR STORIES MATTER!!!
Here are some other questions from our book club discussion:
Do you think the ‘me too’ movement is a war against men?
Have you ever done something you didn’t want to do to be accepted?
How was your relationship with your mother? Did you ever feel like your mother was always angry with you?
How do you feel when you hear the words ‘me too’? Can you relate to them?
How do you discuss sexual abuse with your children?
Have you read this book? What were your thoughts? How would you respond to the questions above?
